Have You Seen Any Good Movies Lately?

Why, yes, I have. Thank you for asking.

As a matter of fact, I have seen SO many, that I can't remember all of them. But, here is a partial list from the last two months.

• The Blind Side
• An Education
• Shrek
• Snow White
• The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
• The Cutting Edge
• Girl Interrupted
• Little Miss Sunshine
• The Invention of Lying
• Father of the Bride
• Empire Records
• Enchanted
• Mulan
• The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning
• Waking Ned Devine
• Shall We Dance
• Brian Reagan, Standing Up
• Sweet November
• I Love You, Man
• Couples Retreat
• Encino Man
• Keeping the Faith
• Stranger Than Fiction
• Personal Effects
• Did You Hear About the Morgans?
• Bride Wars
• Grey Gardens
• Pheobe in Wonderland
• Up
• Love Actually
• Capote
• Michael Clayton
• The Twilight Saga: New Moon
• The Talented Mr. Ripley
• 21
• The Time Traveler's Wife
• Up in the Air
• Jurassic Park: The Lost World
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
• Flash of Genius
• Sideways
• Slumdog Millionaire
• The Proposal
• The Good Shepard
• Baby Boom
• Night at the Museum 2
• Funny People
• The Break-Up
• Reign Over Me
• Dreamgirls

I've also read some books.

• A Prayer for Owen Meany
• The Gargoyle
• The Zookeeper's Wife
• Little Earthquakes
• The Bitch in the House
• The Help
• Eat This, Not That
• A Family History
• The Island of the Sequined Love Nun
• The Brightest Star in the Sky
• Someone Like You

Maybe I could get a job as a critic. Do they serve snacks to critics? I like snacks.

Excitement of the Day

I am either experiencing an adverse reaction to Bacitracin or the surgery sites are infected.

Either way, there is a lot of redness.

Either way, it appears to be spreading.

Either way, boo.

I would really like ONE day that is free of medical setbacks.

Things I Learned Today

1. The Pap Smear that they did before my hysterectomy came back today. (I have no reason why it took so long.) It showed abnormal cells. I'm not sure what to make of this information, since I already had my cervix removed, but there it is.

2. If your chest looks like it has two blackberries on it, that is bad. If it looks like it has two pieces of beef jerky on it, that is worse.

This is information I learned from my doctor. I thought it might be of general interest.

Be advised.

I'm Self-Medicating

Well, not really "self." Scott just brought me a beer, to try to cheer me up.

I just spoke with my surgeon ... on a Saturday. Things do not look good with the surgery. It's possible that the nipple reconstruction did not take.

What he said was: "Well, that doesn't sound good. But, if the tissue is dying, there is nothing that we can do to correct it. And it isn't the kind of thing that we can do twice. So, we'll just have to see."

So, although I feel kind of weird saying it and I'm a little bit afraid that it may be totally sacrilegious, I'm still going to ask ...

Please pray for my nipples.

I Didn't Run A Marathon

But, I am bleeding through my shirt as though I did.

Gross.

Also, I went to see the surgeon, this morning. He changed my bandages and said that the stitches "look great." Apparently, his idea of "great" is ... mauled by a shark.

I would use a different word.

I Smell Like Iodine

I'm home. The surgery went fine. I'm bandaged up and waterproofed and (thanks to insensate) woefully undermedicated.

Perhaps I should open a bottle of wine.

Slice Day - Again

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

If you are my brother ... or my boss's husband ... or pretty much any male, I would advise you to skip this post.

I am going to go under the knife again, tomorrow.

Did you listen? Pete? Nick? You're not reading this, are you?

Okay, then. I'm having nipple re-construction. Sounds fun, right? In case you didn't know, I don't have any nipples, right now. They had to take them out, in case they harbored any cancerous cells. Apparently, that's the king of thing that nipples are known to do.

Anyway, tomorrow, my plastic surgeon will cut into the newly healed breast tissue to recreate them. Then, in three months, I can go back in and get them tattooed, so that they look a little more normal. He claims that these procedures are not painful. We'll see.

The skin in question has been transported from my back and all of the nerve endings were destroyed. They call this "insensate." If you want to look it up, you will find that my nipples: "have no sensation, consciousness or sense." They are "foolish."

Yes. Well, be that as it may, I'm still not super excited about it. It sounds like they will be molding me like I am made out of Play-doh.