Ready as We'll Ever Be

Well, doesn't the universe have a witty sense of humor? I just tried to publish my post about being ready for tomorrow and the blogosphere deleted it. So, it appears I'm not ready. I have to do it all over again. 

Cool.

Tomorrow is the first day of chemo and Scott and I ate a mediocre freezer pizza to commemorate the occasion. It isn't so much that we wanted pizza. It's more that we both used up all of our emotional and physical energy being productive and cheerful employees all day. Now we're drained. And we're scared. 

We have done everything that we've been told that we should do to prepare. 

The port placement surgery was on Monday.

This is what it looks like from the front. There are two incisions and a big lump.

This is what it looks like from the side. I turned my head so you can see the catheter snaking up into what I believe is my superior vena cava. This photo makes it look a little more exaggerated than it really is, but not by much. So far, we're not friends, my port and I. It's temporary name is Viper for being noodle-shaped and delivering poison.  

The "Survivorship Information Session" was yesterday. 

There was a lot to cover.

My echocardiogram was this morning. An EKG is not a painful procedure, but it did last almost an hour during which time the ultrasound wand felt like a bunch of slimy leeches slopping all over the left side of my chest. As an upside, though, I got to see all of the atria, ventricles, valves, etc. of my heart. My mitral valve (and probably yours too) looks like a little bird wing when opening and closing. I named it Cheepy, which is the name I give to most birds. There are a few exceptions. Robins are all called Robin Red Breast. Cardinals are called Cardi B. Owls are Hooty. Ducks are Puddleduck, Sasha, Ruben, or Quackeroo. All other birds are Cheepy. 

I did not share that information with the tech. 

I also did not tell her that squirrels are called Nutkin, chipmunks are called Chippy, and rabbits are all named Peter, Longears, Thumper, or Sir Bounce-a-Lot. I just didn't feel it was pertinent. 

I have purchased all the self-care items that my oncologist's office recommended. 

• Wigs and head coverings for hair loss
• Satin pillowcase and baby shampoo for sensitive scalp
• IBD brush-on glue for brittle nails
• Velcro seatbelt cushion to protect my port
• Senokot laxative for constipation
• Imodium for diarrhea
• Systane drops for dry eyes
• Fragrance-free lotion for dry, uncomfortable skin
• Baking soda for mouth sores
• Ice socks and gloves to prevent peripheral neuropathy 
• Saltines to keep by my bed for morning nausea
• Two prescription medications for nausea
• One prescription anesthetic lotion to put on my port before punctures

So, I guess we're ready, now. 

We're terrified, but the only way out is through. 

PSA: It turns out that Blogger no longer supports email alerts. This means that I am getting a lot of questions from well-meaning friends who didn't know that I already posted an update with all of their answers. I have a genius tech friend looking for a solution, but in the meantime, please send an email to lhewitt27@gmail.com if you'd like me to add you to my update list.