I went to the doctor today. This is the third time since my surgery two weeks ago that I have called and requested a same day appointment because of a problem with the incisions. This is the first time that I feel like I have been taken seriously.
I AM NOT healing properly.
It is not normal, as we have learned, to have blackberries or beef jerky as skin. (And, for the record, I have transitioned to jerky. Thumbs down.) It is not normal to have gross yellowish-green ooze pouring out of you. It is not normal to need to put paper towels on your lap to protect your pants from all of the blood coming from your two-week-old surgery sites. But, as we have also learned, nothing goes as planned with cancer.
So, my doctor (I'll call him Dr. Dreyfuss because of his striking similarity to Richard Dreyfuss' character in What About Bob) decided that he should take the gauze and goop changes into his own hands ... FINALLY. Dr. Dreyfuss acknowledged that "there should not be this much blood." Gee, think so? I've been telling you that for two weeks. Also, "it's hard to say if there is any salvageable tissue under all of the scabs." Fantastic.
I'll just add that comment to the list of things that I wish you had never said. Because in case you have forgotten, you have also uttered gems like: "If you told me you wanted to look just like this after [the mastectomy and reconstruction], I wouldn't be able to do that, because you're too small." Also, "after the surgery, you're going to look like you have two penises on your chest." Really? Two male sex organs sticking off my breasts? That sounds lovely. I wonder why you didn't have the courage to tell me this before I was lying in a hospital gown with a net over my hair. It's such a great selling point for your services.
So, now I have waterproof bandages, again. I go in tomorrow for a dressing change. Then, again on Monday and again some other time next week. I'm relieved that my complaints have been recognized and registered. I wish that it hadn't taken this long. But, then again, I wish that it hadn't taken six months of my persistence to get diagnosed in the first place.
Also, I smell like iodine again. Ick.
And, on an unrelated note, Ryan Seacrest is an idiot. I was just subjected to one of his "This ... Is ... American Idol" introductions. I'm sorry that I'm not there in the live studio audience, because I would like to slap him upside the head. I think I'd get a lot of America's votes for that.
7 comments:
Booooooo.
Dislike, thumbs down, frowny face emoticon to the medical establishment.
But good for your for your persistence, and my thoughts are with you as you continue on the roller coaster.
Love,
H
Oh Liz - I've thought to comment at least 100 times and don't b/c I never feel like I have anything adequate to say.
Your strength is amazing and I hope you get really angry at this. My mother always told me life is not fair and she was right. You should NOT have to fight this hard to have the care you need and deserve.
You are an inspiration to us all and a huge slap in the face that we all need to be our own advocates and be diligent when asking for help.
Hang in there - you are amazing and I continue to send oodles of prayer in all directions.
I'll get off the soap box now - I think of you often - just wanted you to know.
Charlotte Bovee
UGH. This is ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.
Allow me to commiserate for just a moment - my last dr. (who I really liked) can't do anything else for me, and has given me referrals to 2 people who may be able to help me. One of them does not take any insurance, and the other is not taking new patients. Another dead end, but at least I'm not leaking any fluids...yet.
I love the comment above from Charlotte because every time I talk to you/read your updates, I remember how hard you've worked to get even this far, following your gut despite people not taking you seriously. Thanks for inspiring the rest of us to do the same.
We love you!
Oh Liz -
I have no right to even post anything because I've never gone through anything remotely close to what you are going through...but do you think maybe it's time to get a second opinion? I'm sure you feel comfortable with the same doctor that has been there from the beginning, but as an outsider looking in, maybe someone else could do a better job of taking care of you. We all want to see (or hear) that you are the #1 priority. No more oozing! And you deserve perfect Heidi Klum boobies!!
Stay strong!
-Jen
There is a phrase that goes "nice guys finish last"....I never paid much attention to that in the past....however, I am beginning to see the value (necessity) of being more personally aggressive...sad comment to make....Yet, there is a way to be very insistant, purposeful and aggressive without being outwardly angery..you are demonstrating that transition for us all.....got for it...
I certainly second both Ella and Jen....Go girl!!
Boo, cancer. Boo, beef jerky. We love you, Liz. A
Take all those people who aren't treating you well enough and confine them to your office. I'll take a bunch of energetic students to the studio and recreate very loud "Jumanji" sounds for them--for hours on end if you like.
CC
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